Time is Ticking Away!!

Happy 10 Week Birthday, Hallie!

Nick isn't in this picture because he was with Amber and Andy, doing some school shopping. I have had quite a busy couple of days. Yesterday I worked all day on my house just to get it to where we could walk through it again...I mean, it was a MESS! On top of that, I struggled with some decisions I had to make about school. It was an entire day of emails back and forth to the WED office. "Stress" does not even begin to describe what I was feeling. Then last night we had drama practice and church. I ended up working in the nursery with a few fussy babies, but amazingly, it was actually the least stressful part of my day! Today I tried to relax a little bit more and take things more slowly. And then I went grocery shopping! Hahaha...way to relax, huh? It was my first grocery shopping trip with all four kids, but Amber met me there with Ellie so that helped. She had Holly in her cart most of the time. It really wasn't too bad...I think it will be do-able. In reality, most of the time when I go, Hailey and Nick will be in school...and I can actually even plan it to where I go while Holly is in preschool. Sooo...there is hope for my sanity after all.


Anyway, back to my little monkey, who all of a sudden turned ten weeks old in the blink of an eye. I know it's silly...but for some reason this has taken my breath away. TEN weeks??? I am sure that this age seems so young to others and you think I'm silly for getting emotional. I still have all the time in the world with my baby...right? If only that were true. She has changed so much. How can you love someone so much that it hurts? You just can't understand it until it happens. It's the way you love your spouse, only it's special and unique in its own way. The love you feel as a parent towards your children gives you some insight into how God feels about us. And the fact that he loves us even more than that...even more than we can imagine...it just blows me away.


Sometimes I just want to freeze time, or to at least slow it down. I look at my nieces, Adilynn and Eliana, who were both the size Hallie is now only last year. In a few short months, they have become toddlers...fun, beautiful, intelligent, independent toddlers. In the blink of an eye, they will be at yet another stage in their lives that will ultimately lead to even more independence from their parents. Every age is wonderful...all ages bring something to the parent-child relationship that is both unique and fulfilling. But there is nothing more precious than the total and complete dependency that an infant has on her mother. The relationship may often seem one-sided. The mother gives, and loves, and cherishes, and nurtures. The infant receives. It's exhausting. It's labor-intensive. And it is truly one of the most amazing gifts presented in the process of the miracle of life. The relationship between a mother and her infant is beautiful. Her love is unconditional, her limits always expandable, and her care impeccable. Her heart beats for her child. All of her efforts go into fulfilling the needs of her newborn baby. It can be so exhausting at times that her eyes are closing and her head is nodding when she doesn't even realize it...but it can be so exhilirating that she finds herself wanting to stay awake at night just to stare at her sweet angel while she sleeps.


Unless by supernatural miracle, Hallie is my last child. It makes me so sad to know this. I think that is why every little milestone is bittersweet. It is the last time I will ever experience these things. I will enjoy every single aspect of all of my children's childhoods, but there is something very special about this infant's stage of life, and I intend to cherish every minute. I am blessed beyond belief to have been able to experience it four times and I thank God every single day for allowing me the priviledge of being a mother. It is not, nor ever will be, a responsibility or an honor that I take lightly. He has met the deepest desires of my heart and fulfilled my dreams beyond my imagination.


Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.